Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!!

The Christmas Post, New Years and 2013

Hi everyone..

I missed the Christmas Post this year.  But I found this.  Even if a week late I think its perfect:

There was another little video that I manged to catch last year that goes with the first:

Very cute.  And beautiful.  I hope you all had a very good Christmas.


I might also miss my yearly New Years Eve post, I don't know yet.  But I will try.  If I do?  Have a Good New Year all year!  :) 

So ...2013?

This has been a quieter year for blogging for me.  But even though Looking at the big picture, I didn't really get alot done this year.  But looking back at all of it bit by bit -- its been a busy year.  I did more with it than I can see all at once.  I learned more about myself in this past year than I have in the 16 years leading up to this.  And it wasn't a big lesson either.  Just something I wasn't expecting that came as a surprise and helped me realise a few things.  This year was a year of changes. And it seems that no matter how old you get there is always hope and there is always always room to learn and there is always surpise.

Also this past year  I have managed to start and get 3/4ths the way through book I am writing and it seems I even might actually finish it this time.  Even if the new story isn't published by my birthday this coming April, I suspect a rough draft will at least be written and I will be working through revisions. So, its been a good year.  I hope you all had a good year too.  Happy New Year Everyone.

Happy Thanksgiving..

..to everyone.  I missed posting this on thanksgiving day by about 49 minutes.  ^_^ But hope that you had a good one anyway.  Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

Happy Halloween!

Happy Birthday

number 15. love us.  ^_^

To Have to Admit

"Some women love only what they can hold in their arms; others, only what they can't." 

~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

this is it buddy

less than an hour now.  we miss you.

In the Name of Love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByuyP1PNqKQ

No words

I am tired.

But don't worry.  I will be fine.

Quotation

"Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good things."
--Edgar Degas

Faith...

So I have this new idea..

...for a sci fi series.  but as usual, i am struggling with the opening part. also, my left shift key has stopped working, and so, excepting for the title above, which i typed with the right shift, there is a serious lack of capital letters.  as you see.  and i've tried cleaning it.  but it doesn't work.  its not entirely easy for me to just use the right shift key instead either, as i use the left regularly.  so, its a fun night.  and probably i will be investing in a new keyboard. take care all.

I am tired..

.. tired.  Need to sleep.  Things are changing a little again.  Or maybe not so much changing as I am coming to want to finally deal with them.  Or have to deal with them.  I don't know.  I am also working on an entirely new story.  Which is a change for me and a breath of fresh air.

I seem to be jumping through different feelings right now from one sentance to another.  But overall, life is good. Take care everyone.

Me.

This Year I...

New Adventure Awaits...

"It is conceivable that some great unexpected mass of matter should presently rush upon us out of space, whirl sun and planets aside like dead leaves before the breeze, and collide with and utterly destroy every spark of life upon this earth... It is conceivable, too, that some pestilence may presently appear, some new disease, that will destroy not 10 or 15 or 20 per cent of the earth's inhabitants as pestilences have done in the past, but 100 per cent, and so end our race... And finally there is the reasonable certainty that this sun of ours must some day radiate itself toward extinction... There surely man must end. That of all such nightmares is the most insistently convincing. And yet one doesn't believe it. At least I do not. And I do not believe in these things because I have come to believe in certain other things--in the coherency and purpose in the world and in the greatness of human destiny. Worlds may freeze and suns may perish, but there stirs something within us now that can never die again."

H. G. Wells, 1902

Happy Birthday

Nine Years...

...I keep track.  My brain and my heart still cannot help it.  Nine years since my world changed forever.  Nine years since caught in a collapse that I had seen coming at the time, but denied, and with all my heart and body tried to hold back.

It was a moment that would change my life forever -- and these are not just words I type.  If what happened today nine years ago did not happen: my life would be drastically different now.

I did it wrong.  I know that now.

What you say -- does matter.

And I wonder even if I did it different if it would have made a difference somehow.  Or if, by the time this day came to pass nine years ago, it was far too late to stop it.

I was younger.  I was naive. But I still believe in the things I believed in back then.  The things I believed in were not the problem.  And I have difficulty feeling those things now.  But I am stronger now too. And will not give up on me.  I will not.  I will not give up on being happy. 

It is vague for you all and I am sorry. But this is a marker for me.  Getting it in physical lasting form that says I am still here.  I survived.  Its been nine years.

I read somewhere recently, actually on the blog of Angie Smith, something she wrote in a blog post:

The roots go deeper than you think
You only see part of the page
You are still a young tree

Effectively, that is what the words she wrote said.

They stunned me in that moment.  I needed to hear them.  To see them and read them.  They go up there to me with the 'No Truer Words' Catagory.  And this year... this year I needed to hear them.  And already I've been reflecting on them alot.

Would I change what happened then if I could?

I don't know.

I have learned so much through it.  Became a different person through it.  Met many other people because of it.  But I just don't know if I would change it.  Because I sometimes miss parts of the person I was then.

I survived.  I look back on it now and read the notebooks I kept back then, now.. and my heart just breaks for the girl whom I was when I wrote that at the time.  I remember her so vividly.  And all her pain.  It is raw and real there in those pages.

But she survived.  She didn't think she would.  Never doubt the power of prayer, family, and friends.

I don't really think everyone leaves an age behind them as the next birthday hits them.

Somewhere inside me, there is still a 15 year old that hurts and feels with 15 year old feelings.  There is still a 22 year old.  There is still a 27 year old... and so on.

And each of them make us who and what we are now.  That's what I think anyway. Who would have imagined then that I would come this far?

God bless, everyone.  Goodnight.

--Debrah
04.17.2018

Happy Easter

....Happy Easter everyone. 

As a kid, I knew what Easter was about.  My parents made sure to let us know the true meaning behind Holidays like this and at the same time made it possible for us to enjoy the fun things about being a kid ...the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and so on.  We knew.  And it made it that much better.  Though I admit going to church on Easter Sunday was the last thing I wanted to do back then.  I wanted my Easter egg hunt and candy - though I did love getting to wear a really pretty dress.

But these days, this Holiday is so much more.  Means so much more.  I am truly amazed by the sacrifice that was made on a hill for me, for me and everyone ever on Earth since, before and after.  It amazes me to think that maybe while it was being made, Jesus thought of me.  He knew how much I would sin in my life and how much I would be unable to master it on my own. And he loved me enough to die for me.  Just like he did for all of you.

How Amazing is that. How loving is that?  That kind of love is just.... wow.

I want to love like that too.

Happy Easter Everyone.

Love,
Debrah.

January 5

So.. a new year.

I've been trying to write this blog for ..five days.  But couldn't really think of anything New Years to say.  So, maybe I'd try uplifting?

Already, I know that the beginning of 2013 is going to be difficult.  But I am determined to have a good year this year.  I am determined to remember the good times during the upcoming trials.

And honestly, right now, a positive entry is difficult to write.

I don't really do resolutions, as in setting a big one each year.  It's just not my thing really.  I just try and make it a good year.  I do have hopes for 2013.. but those are for another post.  I do have several coming.  Just not sure where to start.  So, I thought wishing you all a happy 2013 and actuallly writing my first post of the year was a good place for it.

Best wishes for a good year to all of you,
Debrah.